Manipulations & Some Stress

So for my first order of business I said I'd post up my manip I finished of the band member graphic I did. =] And here it is! Whoot! I'm really glad they liked it!


Phew. Anyways, lately it's been rough. Recently my mom has been to the hospital after an MRI resulted in "findings" and the doctor told us that she had a mass on the left side of her brain. It is too deep to remove with effecting both her motor skills and speech permanently. This all happened starting last week on Wednesday. =[ She was recently supposed to have a biopsy but there was a mis-communication about the day and they wanted to do it on Christmas Eve .. mom passed in favor of just doing it on Monday of next week. I've been really stressed out and just a mess in the head and at work, suck it up Jess! heh.

Anywho, I have basically the whole rest of the week off. (pause as Trevor called ^^) Might wander on over to Trevors house for a portion of the day. Mom said something about going to see Nikki and her mom tomorrow morning so we'll see what happens then. I also gotta put that black duct tape to use and tape up my back window before it rains/snows again. @-@;; urgh.

Anywho! Christmas shopping is done for now ... I mean, I'm going to find out some stuff tomorrow and see if what I wanna get will work for Nikki but yeah. ♥ I think that's all for now, I gotta go stress over a manipulation I said I'd do. ><

♥ Toodles.

goals, parties & "fun" fights

So Heidi is going to be due May 31st though me and a few others think the baby will be a June baby, how fun! Speaking of Heidi and NY and all that jazz, me and Laura are going to try to plan on going to NY January 14th-17th to see her, give her presents and etc! =D Dont'cha love my specifics?

My hair is now pretty well bleached up on top in the middle and now I'm just waiting, 5 days says my Aunt Phyllis who helped me on Sat, until I am gonna go back and do the black underneath and possibly the purple over the blonde. It's cool and all but I was gonna see if a three way color looked good -- I dunno. Blonde/White, Purple and then black? Maybe? I dunno. I'm gonna try to go there on Friday if my schedule allows since I have Thurs-Sat off right now and I have "sorta" plans for all three days. Thursday I might be hanging out with Karen, and if so, I won't know how long. On Friday I'm going to the movies with my parents (though that'll take only a few hours). And Sat night I'm going to the Teratoma show at the Hayloft.

Last night Joker had another one of his shindigs and it was amazing! It was a costume party (though I didn't know) and showed up to find Karen and Matt as zombies, Trevor as King Diamond (LOL) and tons of funny and some .. not so funny costumes. One dude got kicked teh shit out of by Joker aka Zachary Windchester Phillips -- the kid had it coming though since he f-ing wouldn't stop trying to fight this other drunk guy for "fun". *shakes head* men I swear . .

On another note these guys in the kitchen that were singing at the end of teh night were hilarious! They make all these sing along songs while their drunk and just .. it was a good time that was for sure! I didn't wanna leave but Trevor did so we left around 2:30 ish am and I remember glancing to my clock which said 3:30 am before I passed out. Lol. At least I worked at 8a instead of the usual 6a.

To wrap it up ... *glances around room* I NEED TO CLEAN THIS PLACE. *sigh* now to go weigh myself and feel more ugly. But yeah, changing it all. I'm gonna try to loose 60 lbs in 6 months. so by my Birthday I wanna look lean, mean and like a hella sexay machine! ;D

Toodles.

Fly by .. WHOOSH

Wow, October has flown by thanks to my second job at the Haunted House known as "Haunted Hallows. They became my second family in the month of October and I can't wait to see them throughout the spring and summer next year and into the fall!


So Laura and Nikki recently had birthdays and oh! the best news ever is .. my Heidi is pregnant! XD She's about 3 1/2 months along and going strong. *dances* I can't wait for the little bundle to be born! 8D

So Christmas is coming and I'm planning what I want to get for a few people as well as pay of my debt little by little over these months since month mom is going to AWESOMELY let me by-pass the rent I pay for 4 weeks. *dance* So that means more money to use on my lufferly family and friends. I already have two presents so far (dad & phyllis) so I still got Mia, Mom, Trevor, Laura, Heidi (and the baby), Nicole annnd ... possibly a few more if my wallet can handle it. ♥

Toodles for now

Frustrating Mixed Emotions

First of all, my bank sucks. They truly do. I'm quitting them once in for all once this interest comes through on my savings account from the save the change dealie-o. After that ... DONE. I'm going to the Flagstar bank in the Kroger parking lot and getting that $100 dollars and splitting it since half will go towards the joint account for my and Trev and the other will go towards my savings. <3 So frustrated right now cause of my credit cards and my eating ... stuff and exercising and just .. everything seems to be stressing me out recently and I really think it's the Depo comming out of my system since I got my shot done on the 11th or 12th of June.

*sigh* man, sighing feels so good. I don't know what it is but whenever I feel the need to overthink or just, in general, stress over things and all that I sigh and I feel pressure just ease off of my chest ... almost like the feeling of taking your first breath of air after holding it forever. It's odd and I was just thinking about it for awhile.

And well ... since Trevor apparently doesn't want me to go to all his party things then I wont and I'll try to make the best of everything and so my own hanging out get-togethers. I wasn't asking to hang out with his friends when it was one on one .. I was asking to go along to party type deals. UGH. It makes me feel like he doesn't want me around .. it really hurts.

Toodles.

A Blast From the PAST! + some other stuff

Recently I have been trying to make the best out of my life and try to involve myself more in party things and just all in all having fun! Last night was a blast getting to go to Joker's house for a small bonfire as well as go to this other girl Beck's house to swim and just chill -- until 5 am! I drove Trev, Matt & Ryan there though only Trev and Ryan back since uh ... -cough- Matt and Beck seemed to have other plans when we finally decided to leave. It's nice that Matt seems to have found someone although Trev says that him and McCormick have both thought that Matt's probably going to find something out about her he doesn't like within the next few months. Well, I hope that they're wrong and all but who knows what teh future holds, right?

Been trying to find some crafts to do recently but nothing is snagging my interest. I was trying these crochet dolls a friend of mine Allie told me about and lent be a book on, though I was using this cotton yarn and it just fell apart and frustrated me. Though I might try it now with the regular Lyon yarn or something. Speaking of yarn! I'm going to use these cash coupons I got from my work to by some more of Trevor's afghan color. <3

Annnd! Trevor says he's gonna try and look at my computer and see what's up, which is awesome! (and mean's it's free. lol) If not I will either bug our friend Tom or Doug .. though Tom is my first bet since Doug is only just becoming friendly with me. Time will tell but he's opening up. =]

Oh wow, an old friend of mine, Seth, just called me! xD It's so awesome cause I haven't heard from him in forever but just, wow! It's awesome that I can still have some ties to back in the day. Lol. But yeah, just talking about what we've been doing and photoshooping! hehe.

Small Updates + Future Promises

Blah, so I'm waiting for Trevor to call. >> Though I'm passing the time by roleplaying with my Heidi-kins --- geez I never thought we'd STILL be doing that this long! xD lol.



On a side note I cut my hair and dyed it red (with some blonde) and I GUESS it's okay. hehe. But I want it to be different again ... I'm so indecisive! xP Like right now I wanna go and buy some hair dye but o_o I'm too frickin' lazy. I just went and walked around by Metro Beach with Nikki earlier and my keet are killin me. xP

YAY ( Trevor just called, lol )

But anywho, I suppose rant and rave time will be for later. :] Or well, story time anyway.

Toodles! ♥

Everything is Good .. I Think?

So me and Trevor talked and all that nonsense and he is really pushing me to be more active and just ... non-lazy. I can't say I blame him. I feel bad that he's sits at his house, waits for me, only to have me to come in and wanna fall asleep. @.@ Bleh. I don't mean to it's just ... his bed is soooo comfy! And besides that it smells like him. Mmmmm.

On a side note I have to go get everything replaced like my drivers license and all that, it had gotten stolen I think, though on a different occasion than my car getting broken into.

So off to making lists and going on a bike ride. Toodles!

Projects, art & running around!

So, I've been working on getting Bizarre Designs up and running on Myspace, getting my name spread around and trying to think of new things that I can make. ^^ hehe. Um, so far I've only had ideas for the coasters my mom showed me how to make and the lovely mini top hats that a stock artist I know gave me the permission to use .. and then play with the design a bit. -grins-

Graphics stuff has been running smoothly and I hope it keeps up! I'm actually reading the "Marked" series by the Cast sisters and I am tinkering with the idea of making a site based off of it though in a different universe .. AU if you will. =] I also have been working on traditional/sketching and drawing things, especially since I am in the middle of three art trades that I really wanna get done asap!

Oh my, I got a lot of stuff to do today. o-o . I need to get this picture printed, go to the library, go to Trev's Meijers to pick up his phone and go the repair center ... and more. I'm also gonna try to come home and play some more DDR, which Laura and me played a lot of last night. Whee!

But first ... a shower. ^-^;

Toodles!

Birthday Wishes & Bowling

Whee, Trevor's Birthday is next week on Monday and I STILL haven't gotten his stupid present yet. Hardly a stupid present but yeah, actually he's picking it out and I'm buying. It's the truct's(?) for his skateboard, he wants a certain size and all that. So instead of sending me off with written stuff I'm just gonna take him to Corky's and have him pick out what he wants.
That's what he's gonna do for me though too, he's buying me a good quality belt like he has from the leather shop in Gibraltar. =3 whee. I can't wait. ^-^

All in all not a whole lot has been going on. Well, not that I feel like typing atm anyway. I went bowling with a good friend of mine, Sarah.


Whom! I haven't seen in quite awhile so it was really cool to see her. <3 Despite the fact I was sick as all HELL. x-x and the smoke and loud music didn't help either but .. -shrugs- whats a girl to do when she's invited to hang? Ignore the sickness and go anyway.

Toodles.

Shindigs with Matt

I've been looking forward to Matt's parties every Friday. It's like a stress reliever at the end of the week. I really hope he continues to do these for awhile. GO MATT & RYAN! =D


(that's me in the bottom right corner looking a bit scared. ;D)

So I'm doing to try and start putting my bottle cap jewelry into business since I've collected quite a few to last me awhile. But if you're drinking things with bottle caps (and you don't destroy them taking them off) then save em' and bring em' to the shindig for me! It's a 9/10 I'll be there every week Matt has a gathering.

Blech, I hate Meijers .... maybe I should try to work at Subway? ... >>;;

Besides all that jazz, I just dunno. =/ eep.

Massage Parties & Hospital Bills

Well not this past week, but the week before on Monday I fell really ill within a short amount of time. My sides in pain and excessive vomiting were the main symptoms besides a slight fever of 99.3 and well, it wasn't fun. I first went to the urgent care where they gave me anti-nausea medicine as well as a Motrin-type shot and then ended up sending my to the hospital. While I waited for about 4-5 hours I couldn't believe the volume of people were in that place. Long short short I went in, got some x-rays, was told I had kidney stones, and was sent off with 3 prescriptions and another set of shots. Fuck that.

I ended up staying my bed all of that week and Sunday, before I went to work on Monday and then passed the stone on Tuesday - fun stuff.

So I yeah, apparently I didn't have insurnace and had to call Meijer Benifets to talk to them. They told me there had been a glitch in the system and then put me back on, and damn when I got those bills without the insurance -whistles- I'm glad I got it. So I called everyone up and had to give them my insurance information, yay! No lapse in coverage! -dances-

All that has passed, I ended up missing photography club - whom I still owe $20 - and a few plans with friends, which I still feel horrible about. Though a lot of thinking and dreaming was done over that time. I've decided to try and start working on my violin again, though I first need to get the money to fix one of the strings pegs that is stripped. ><
Tonight we went to the Able's house for a massage party, and lemme tell you, if you haven't had a massage with heat stones - you gotta! They're amazing and just ... wow it felt sooo good. Besides seeing everyone, talking about World Inferno coming back to town on April 9th! FUCK YEAH. I'm stoked. It was good to see everyone.

I will have to stop by Catherine's(mom#2) and see if we are doing any photography stuff. If not I think I will call Laura since I've not seen her since a little while before my kidney stone incident. Blech.

Toodles.

Random Thoughts & Whatnot

I'm not very good at titles, am I? -points up and chuckles-

Anyway, the memorial was today (Sat) and it was alright, mostly it was just a lot of people Trevor hadn't seen since he was a kid, as they all kept saying that and doing the gesture of him being only knee high. ^^; I got to see his niece though and she was the most adorable thing ever. She really looked like the pictures of Sue when she was younger.

I was talking, though, to Al's good friend and his wife - though his wife mostly. Just about a few random things like cosmetology school and all that and how I could apply for grants and whatnot to go for free. I honestly had no idea about grants .. I just knew about the scholarships that you can get from different companies and all.

Randomly I'm updating my wishlist. To make it easier for mom. ;D for my birthday that is. lol

Toodles all.

Here's to the GYM!!

So I've been trying to get to the gym more often - speaking of - my official gym card came in the mail! Whoot! Now I won't have that flimsy thing I gotta carry around. Hehe. Anywho ..

Trevor and I went to Blakes Haunted Hay Ride and Haunted Barn -- I love that place! Escpecially the "Black Hole" at the end cause it makes you feel like you're gonna fall over. xD hehehe. I <3 it. He was talking about making it a tradition from now on to go there on Halloween - I'm all for it! Heh, on a side note - Happy First Kiss Baby! xD;; Yes i'm gay. lol.

Well, I got home about two hours ago and helped dad do the leaves - even though I was supposed to be here three hours before that (10am). -__-;; Well geez, staying out late at Lisa's party didn't help either though. blah. Speaking of! I will have to upload all those pictures of mine as well ... and make sure I do my laundry and whatnot.

Sad news, my grandfather is in the hospital again and it has me worried. He was in there before for getting his gall bladder removed and then had to stay in there because when they took it out it was infected and the infection went into his stomach. -sighs- But he's getting a pace-maker put in on Monday - maybe I will be able to go up and see him. I also want to print out a picture of me and him that my mom took last Thanksgiving. =) at least .. I think it was .. I'm pretty sure though. >.<

Right, rambling and all that. I swear I could probably go on forever if ya let me! xD;;

Toodles.

Shivers & NaNoWriMo??

Well the one thing that is bugging me is the fact that my room is SO freaking cold and the rest of the house is warm. >.< Grr. -suffers stubbornly instead of getting a blanket-

Anywho, recently I've really not been happy with work and I am looking into finding another job since Meijers is really pushing my patience. I mean, I haven't been late in awhile but now I'm getting written up because 'The Amazon' like to watch us from the back room. Well fuck her because I had that floor looking awesome! Though I am wondering about if I was supposed to do an order or not. Oh well, we're definately not a busy store so hopefully I'll cross my fingers and we don't have a rare occurence where we're busy or otherwise. O.o;; Plus CAO always comes in as well so we're not totally screwed if I was supposed to .. besides! As Sharon always says "you're a specialty clerk, your not supposed to do the jobs of others you're not specified to do" Oye!

Recently, last week actually, I've joined a gym! I actually used to go there with my mom but years back we quite because of money issues. Me and Trevor signed up on Wednesday last week and it's been great so far! I'm probably going to go up there for a bit and then possibly call Maria and see if she's available. ^-^ Then I'll have to remember and see if she got Laura's Elphaba stage make-up or not and also pay her for it. xD; And possibly have a small photoshoot. The one with Trevor will possibly have to wait a bit longer. Oooo ... punks in winter? xD I'll have to post some pictures if/when it happens. Plus Maria wants to do some staged pictures with blood and all that jazz.

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month --- which takes place in November and is all about writing a novel in a month. It sounds like a lot of fun and since I only have work and play -- I'll have plenty of free time to try and fit this in! xD But yes, I have to be heading off to bed soon .. possibly wake up early to shop and whatnot before work. ^^

Toodles.

NYC & Weddings

Besides the fact that I waited way too long to make the dress for Heidi's wedding .. this week is uneventful so far --- forget the fact it's only Monday. =x lol. I've been catching up with graphics requests and am about to kick ass finishing up them tomorrow/today and also finishing my dress. x.x Which I suspect will take the day since we worked on it for 6-7 hours today and got two parts finished. Hopefully it will come together .. and I really hope it fits my fat ass -- DAMNIT.

Anywho, I'm going to be really putting my foot down. I haven't even touched Trevors bag[murse] in a really long time so I think on the way to NYC I might work on that and maybe even bring one of my knitting projects as well. Man .. just thought about it .. I need shoes. And to go to the bank tomorrow. I guess $150 at least is being taken out for hotel/gas/shoes. The ending item hopefully not going past $25 or some crap. And I'm so gonna try to bring my camera. <3 Or I might steal my old camera back from Trevor for this trip and then give it back after. <3 hehe. I mean .. it's easier to transport and all that at least. O.o;;

Toodles for now.

Merow .. ?

Feeling somewhat better ... okay a lot better and starting to work on ideas both for my personal website and as well as ideas for some dA submissions since I wanna draw in some people - ya know? I mean, I know commissions wouldn't be the best way to get money but if I can get myself into a schedule I think I can do it.

Also! I got most of the pieces for the dress cut out today, me and Trevor sorta had a group sewing pow-wow thing and he sat and was working on patching a friends pants while I worked on my dress. I'm actually really tempted to at least finish the lining -- the frustrating part is just the cutting and lining the pieces up because the main material is so thick, and it was hard enough to pin by itself, now it's double frustrating because I'm trying to pin another two layers of fabric to the main material and it's .. BLAH.

Besides that I need to get to work on my posts. Which I've now joined a Wolf RP run by Mou and her friend .. o.o -sweatdrop- and I started up a mini-request thread at the RPGC. AHH! Well, I have two requests at ED and one to finish at WD and then I'm set there .. and two at this mini-request place. O.o;; urgh. I hope I can get this crap done fast! Plus maintain all my boards. =P I need to test out a multi-colored name code that a member at ED gave me and a few other things as well. Oh yeah, I need to finish the two ... three tutorials I have started for TT. -sighs- and maybe get lots of sleep -- I've been so sleepy lately. u__u;;

Toodles. <33

UGH and double UGH

Right now I am really at my wits end with my mom and I don't know why. I mean, I can barely stand talking to her anymore right now because all she has to say is something that I do wrong or something that I NEED to be doing or just NAGGING in general. It drives me up the wall, makes me grind my teeth, and just makes me want to scream and forget I wanted to do anything. I dunno, she gets under my skin to the point of pain. I planned on doing so much today and I just don't know .. I can't.

I think it's because we're so much alike or something .. I dunno, that's fine and dandy but I just need a break. I can't get along with my dad but I just .. it's like scratching nails and TEETH down a chalkboard .. imagine that .. feel the shiver? yea...

Besides all that I'm going to lay out Heidi's dress tomorrow on my blanket, great idea Mom #2!, and get everything cut out. That is my goal! If I can get to the piecing then that's super. >P I have 9 days to do this like 7 part dress. Though help will be needed for the pleats and mom # 2 is helping .. so we're all good. I hope it fits fine though, since I've lost a little bit of weight. Yay me.

Been working on all sorts of stuff! I need to get some D-rings from the hardware store for Trevors bag since he got me a strap and then I'm just gonna patch it up and tah-dah! A simple project I never set my mind too. Damnit. =( I wish I would've finished it faster. Trevor's so patient and even helps push me along. <3 I love you baby.

Toodles for now.

Concerts & Random Stuff

Well I bought an addition to my ratty's [Melody] home, =) and I think she's pretty happy with it, climbing all about as she has in it. Though I had to go to the pet store today and buy some special clips for my tank because it's not a more modern tank with a lid that goes over the top but instead a lid that settles inside the top. O.o;;

Anywho, Tonight I'm going over Trevors, possibly spending the night and all that jazz but if I don't I'll definitely be spending the night tomorrow. That also reminds me that I need to bug Trevor about changing his water and also bringing a sample of water up to the AB Aquarium to get his water tested -- as well as get to look at the Galla or as the pet people named him the "super algae eater" .. if this is true then he would be perfect for Trevor's tank. =3 whoot!

Plans for tomorrow are pretty bland besides the whole concert thing later on in the day =3 sweet! We're going with Larold and Tlyer and going to see the Pussy Pirates, Witchhunt, and ... damn it I can't think of the other band! x.x but it is an awesome line-up and that means it's gonna be crowded. @.@ damn it! Though for a "donation" of $6 to get in? hell yea!

Toodles for now. <3

Internet Talking & Posting

Well, me and Roo are sitting around and chatting away, as well as roleplaying (of course) as we do whatever. She has a habit of chewing on or putting things in her mouth ... =o You were thinking dirty things weren't you? ... I know I was! =D Lol.

Besides all of that, I got to spend the night at muh babys house again. =D eeee. I love it when I can sleep next to him. hehe. And it was like total opposites .. I was all tired at night and whatnot and then in the morning he was .. and of course we're both bugging each other both times. lol. Plus all that extra heat in the bed from sharing body heat isn't comfy in the summer. x.x But I love it at the same time. lol

Toodles.

The Mall & Cleaning

Well, I attempted to start cleaning my room yesterday and got pretty far with it garbage picking-up wise, though I need to start up again, go through some stuff, and get ready to possibly start packing up tons of crap for the Salvation Army tomorrow. We just finished a yard-sale we had and there is TONS of stuff left over. It wasn't organized as it should've been and we only made a grand total of 90-something dollars over 3 days ... that's not a lot considering the amount of stuff we had and the amount of stuff we managed to pull out at the end of the second day. @.@ Anywho, tomorrow looks like yard work and packaging stuff up, besides maybe going to see my baby. Maybe even tonight if he lets me. -grins excitedly-

Man, I'm just as bad as my mom with cleaning organizing. I can do a little bit every day but it takes some effort to do a lot without getting sidetracked and all that. Heh. I hope I'm not this bad when/if I have my own place. Though with money issues at this point in time with car insurance, which mom just told me she would start to pay half of - YAY! cause she's using the car, and credit cards and phone bills plus a wedding coming up and my random moments of wanting things -- it's tight. xD;; Not too tight ... but enough. Also I'm hoping my pay raise is coming soon since that will help a little and I'm going to be changing my savings account to a direct deposit account so I can get better interest on it as well. =) Interest is always good.

All for now. I'm going to get to cleaning and possibly some drawing. <33